ladies night!

out with colleagues! not really tt awesome as i expected. see, told 'you' dont expect so much. but i miss nura the hen!

great chatting session at the end! but some stupid whine-kers have to spoil it. dont they knw they are disgusting to still be asking for numbers?

lucky san had it well wrapped up. "i need some sex luh" omg! and off we go. home sweet home! actually not really sweet. i miss tt boy alot man.

anyway, partying with jialing is still loves can. of course my gorgeous gfs are too! too bad. its either work the next day, or exams coming, or school, or worst--BF gets upset.

what nonsense eh. but i still love you guys all the same, just you knw its pretty disappointing at times. whr we dont share the same interest, esp my fav. hahaha. i really hope we can party like crazy one day. just one day agn will do!

im no jhj i cant make ppl attend like they do. im no miss popurella like jialing says. sometimes i feel im just as tiny like germs and ppl dont really give a damn bout me anymore. at work its like this.

really sickening, but i reckon i did sth to be "suffering" from this. cause i believes karma do bites.

i still do love everyone ard me, just not as much. and im learning not to expect much anymore. (:

Everyone, Everything changes.

Lifestyles have changes again though irregular sleeping modes remained the same.
Different environment; friends; colleagues.
Its nothing new, & who cares.

Seen changes in A, B, C, D and myself. I dont really fancy changes in life. That means I have to change accordingly, sometimes unwillingly. It can be good, or bad. When it gets worse, that's the time where something, someone you love will be gone.

The one you think know you best, eventually proves you wrong. At the end of the day they're not. Whereas those whom you think dont understand you much, are the ones knowing more than you expected.

Lesson learnt: Dont expect too much from anyone, they might end up giving you surprises.

Whatever I have in mind I will share with those whom I care; love. But I realise it is wrong to. I care and love them, but failed to realise they might not wanna hear what I wanna say. I started holding myself back, not to be too aggressive; outspoken. There are words better left unsaid. Because you dunno when its gonna hurt someone, or a relationship.
Pleasing everyone is too hard, yet pissing them off is a piece of cake. Nobody listens untill I say something wrong, literally.

Friendships, relationships. All takes forever to build, yet can be shattered so easily in seconds. Good thing is, so far not yet. I hope I will nv get a chance to experience it.

Many a times, I wanted to express myself so much. My opinions, thoughts, feelings. A lot of times, just by thinking what will happen makes me drop that thought off. At home, at work, with friends, with bf. Whatever. I believe most ppl out thr experienced this. The only different is maybe they didnt think as much like me. Fucking whine-ker.

If only I had choose to live freely, do some stupid things to see who will accept who I am and stay.

Fuck adult world. Everyone is starting to be selfish, too. If not they have always been like this. No real friends in the "working-world." Call me childish or inmatured. I'd rather be like that.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY(S)!

Went out with JOL today! Initial plans were killed. Urghhh. Thought we can celebrate for val and hangout! ):

I cancel away so many plans just for tt and, sigh. I guess its good. We went for L4D2 with Wai, Jerlin and YC! whoohoo. We 3 pretty much feel like vomiting as we played 4 hrs str8. One word: SHAG! Till now I still have no idea what surprise Wai wanna give Jol. LOL! Anyway, wish them 2 happiness luh. I bet they will nv quarrel like how I did with LH. Who knows! Scarli Jol more fierce. kekeke

No regrets today, out with my gorgeous gf. Love her ttm! Though I have no present for her, I bet she'll be glad to have me. heheheheh.

For the next few days I guess I'll be working and nobody cares. ): But if I dont work I will have no income, no income I cant go anywhr! So, its good to be still working. Yay!

Next month I've got so much to do! Many debts to clear! hmm, hereby thanking all those who helped me throughout my bad times, I will never forget that!

Okay, I gotta go grab my red wine, sit one corner and relax. Yayness.

Lastly,
To my dear GFS, VALERIE SNG & JOLENE PAN!
And of course JHLee.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JOL, and belated one to VAL & JH. Enjoy ttm and your friends loves you much! hehehehehe. LOVES!

wtf

I wanna find someone to talk to. Idk who to find at this hour. I wish you were there for me, as much as i had.

I knw there is no one to be blamed. Maybe this is just one of those usual whining. Maybe no one cares. Or no one wants to. What can they say? What can they do? Its just me.

Sometimes I just find something missing somewhere, and I cant help. Is it just the time-of-the-month thg?

updates!

Been on sm's music station. One word: Awesome! Though its strange to hear him speaking like tt, using proper mandarin.

Today he touches on emo stuffs. About life; fate, friends; relationships. I agree with him on the friends part, to a certain extent. He said friends aint the top priority on our list for life. It may have been now, definitely not in future. Next time we will have our own family. We will not always hang out like this. & who knows what will happen tmr. Everything, everyone, changes. No doubt.

Even now, I can see changes alr. There are always someone too busy for friends. Idk if its right to say this, they need time alone with their own spouse, partners.

I often wonder why cant we all just sit down with our partners and friends. Idk if anyone will mind. But tt's what i wished. wishes dont come true, do they?

Dont worry bout changes, we change all the time. We just got to get used to it and look on the bright side. Life's like this anyway. Im happy I still got a bunch of awesome friends. (:

Nobody is real

Utterly disappointed.

To the max.

I never thought things will turn out this way.

I've learnt never to trust people easily, again.

Bye Bye

This is for my people who just lost somebody,
Your best friend, you baby, your man or your lady.
Put your hand way up high, cause we will never say bye.
No no no. Mamas daddies sisters brothers friends & cousins,
this is for my people who lost their GRANDMOTHERS
Lift your head to the sky, cause we will never say BYE.

I was joking in the car with my sis, & we laughed hilariously.
Dad looked into the mirror & said,
"Ah ma passed away you guys can laugh till so happy hor"
I said not necessary people pass away must be sad & we cry.
Its a good thg for her actually.
She dont have to suffer alr!

When she is still around, rarely people visit her.
Like alone in the nursing home.
Though she may not rmb whats happening but that is kinda sad.
She became like this because
everyday in the nursing home staring into blanks.
Made her loose control of time,
of the world.

I wont deny when she is in there Im outside enjoying life.
Because it is the fact.
I kinda feel upset because I have never really accompany her.
Not at all. Despite our communications.
I just didnt do it.
If wanna say regret?
Everyhg is too late alr.

Shes gone.
Even if she happen to be still here I doubt anythg will change.
Everyone will continues to lead their lives.
It is only when they need to show face then they come out.
Just like today.

What for?
I do not want to pretend that I feel very upset.
The fact is Im abit happy for her.
Leaving this world, knowing she could join our long lost Grandpa.
Better than stuck in the nursing home.
Cant go anywhr.
& even if people visit her so what?
How long is one session?

Seriously, am i very sarcastic?
I think being ourselves is most impt.
Thats why I choose not to hide my feelings.
Want to laugh; laugh.
Want to joke; joke.
I dont have to sit down, face serious.
Wait for time to pass by.

Dad says this is call show face to people.
If not people think I disrespect.
It is true to what he says,
I want to do what; I do.
Didnt spare thoughts for others,
or care how people around me feels.

Maybe this is my weak point.
But I dare to say it is my strong point too.
Because I think Im more matured enough,
to accept setbacks.

My Shifu says we must generate positive energy.
No matter what you see, they are positive.
Because negative thought are like roots.
Once they get rooted, we find it hard to remove.
Sometimes it requires alot of enerygy to get it all out,
often we givup in getting them out,
& that made us worst.

I believe my own theory,
but people wont recognise.
We cant please everyone, right?