我想我不會愛你, 让我寂寞寂寞就好. 因为分手是需要练习的, 习惯就好.
少了一个人沒關係, 因为累了. 退后又怎样, 我还是不懂.
多么希望看见两个人的荒岛, 可是你是错的人.
愛太痛, 没办法回到过去.

what is life?

just got home from blackshot-ing with MCS_
as usual, nth big. well, at least he accompanied me.
vice versa actually. appreciateds.

beginning to feel like thr's no point in living.
idk why. jobless, dropouts, breakup. nth goes well.
i am so useless, ppl out thr wants to stay alive i always have negative thoughts.
damn me! but i cant help feeling this way man.

festive seasons! & i have not a single feel for it.
this yr's xmas & new yr's gonna suck big time.
i still haven got over you, completely.
i wish i could, with a snap frm my fingers.
but sadly, big no.

youre an idiot.
give up so quickly & easily.
makes me feel like i really did waste my time & youth with you.
i dunno issit a good thg or bad.
you were th centre of my life.
now that youre gone what shld i look upon to?

i have amazing frends. i do love thm.
but you surpasses it. th love was of a total difference.
idk what language shld i say to you to make you understand.
actually i dont have to.
im quite determined to make you out of my life.

i get very upset whn i listened to songs tt fit us so so much.
heres one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aR1bxfqWvCE&feature=related

you'll not understand what i felt.
we were not meant to be in th first place.
maybe im th one who dont.

dead and gone

its been 3 days since we stopped all means of communications.
it appears to be like 3 decades alr.
i still do love you, th fact that im always disappointed, nv changes.

always on th similar-old issues.
it started with a small small test on you.
cant accompany gf on a sat night is no big deal.
but gf cant join you in your slackings with friends, is.

am i not impt?
for nearly 3 yrs. how many times have i spent th day out with your friends & you on a saturday?
out of that, how many days have i asked?
nv once thr's a initiative in asking, hey mind joining my friends & I?
i always do, always.

perhaps you dont like it.
well, why not? not that i nv ask b4.
you said youre fine with that.
and you nv thought of asking me?

not th first time i felt neglected.
i always say "nevermind' to myself.
this time is not all th same.
after all th postings on fb,
th ans i get frm you is,
"if you think i cant give you what you want, sorry about it. i'll not waste your time anymore"

if this is what you have to say, by all means.
you stopped calling, texting. im fine with it too.
it goes to show how much you really really have for me.

falling out of love isnt end of world,
its feeling grieved.
something is dead, nv will it come back.
never ever.


no matter how much i love you, sth is dead.
no matter what it'll all be diff.
i knw i will be v v v v upset.
but what can i do? what you can do, you didnt.
what more?

anw, we wouldnt be seeing each othr alr,
(evn though im thinking to return your stuffs esp your phone.),
i hope one day you'll understand why i left.