believe it or not!

"For beautiful lips, speak words of kindness,

 For lovely eyes, seek the good in people."

Satisfied, or not?

Im trying to change myself for the better these few months and I've realised a lot of things. I was hoping people around would have realised that it aint easy at all. When things go wrong i would flare up. Now i know of a better way to control that. It is to take it easy. Just like when people are in trouble they go to you, and you solve it just like that.

Things happen in their own time, & for a reason. That reason may be to test your ability, or pull your relations closer. How we look at it reflect on how mature we are. No one is perfect, therefore no matter how hard we try there will still be 20% of the population who does not always agree. 

I, too get upset easily at the 20% because I need people to agree with me. I want people to think like me. Realising, I too, was being the 20%. That makes me think back how. If every strives to be the at the top, it will only collaspe. I could have helped people to get up & when its my turn someone will eventually pull me up.

I guess that was one of my wishful thinking too as I've come to know the fact. You count on yourself, & opportunities to get to the top. Provided you have the abilities and calibre. You will fall if you do not have real talents.

Things are pretty complicated.

Happy One Year!
LOTSA LOVES filled. ^^

Nostalgic

We lived for ourselves. The things that we did are not for others pleasure. They are for us, ourselves. We dont have to do things for people to see, & agree. Why do we? Life is for ourselves to fulfill and why live for others? Accept yourself before you expect people to trust you. If you dont give people a chance to guide you, how will you learn? If you insist on your own perspective, how do you seek enlightenment? We know you are emotional animal, but thats not an excuse. Look at things from brighter side. Do not choose to take side. Once you are biased, the conclusion may just be wrong. I hope its time for us to grow. The road is still long. Dont be too hard on ourselves, albeit. 

I miss LH's lips, :p

Short-Listed

Im not feeling so good about this. I dont think I'll get a good start out from this either.
This feeling is simply
Indescribable.

It has to be not-so good.

Attitude

Went down to Bugis with LH just now to get some books. We had our dinner at "Tian Tian Steamboat" Pretty good as we took the "Ma-La" soup. Made my mouth watery and numb at the same time. Its a good place for gathering. Next time shall ask Tine and Jol to join.

While we had our fill, Zheng Guang and Florence came. They were near us so they drop by to hang out for awhile. It was my first encounter with Florence who was LH's pri school friend. I think she is a pretty nice girl. & Zheng Guang were like joking all the way claiming Florence to be his girlfriend. I think ZG wasnt at all a bad guy. He is quite sensible and know quite a few. Did I mention he was an IT genius? Well he sort of is; for some reasons i believed too. I didnt know ZG very long but can see LH trust him a lot. & the way he explained things out in very logical ways, is not something anyone can do it. 

"Be professional!'

I think they might just be together! Though I didnt know both of them too long but I somehow think that ZG is serious. I didnt why I feel this way too. Anyway, I wish them both all the best. To be with the one you loved no matter who they are, they are meant to be there! 

Next, is my future! What am I going to be. What I am looking forward to. I'll update once things are confirmed. I might be jobless or I may be leading a meaningful life. It will happen in just less than a week. So, people. Wish me luck! I just want to do what I liked and what I do best at and being rewarded for what I deserved. I, too wish to do my parents proud! Grant my wish will you? 

ZG says my attitude sucks. I think its true. ((:

I want to get MACBOOK PRO. Can someone lend me his/her credit card for instalment? Pretty pleaseeeeeeeeee?? Im so gonna love ya. ((:

wah

Its Valentine's and both LH and I were working at PS today. We had chicken rice by Gabriel's treat. (But I have to walk a few Kilometres to get it) Meet up LH straight at the stall there though. Finish eating we still gotta do takeaway for our staff. (28 packets mind you). So we each carry one bag. On the way we saw lots of couples; some wearing cute tees, some wore compatibly, few were carrying huge bears, some were with a bouquet of flowers. How i envy them that they were able to celebrate Valentine's. The girls are lucky today.

I am very lucky too, with the guest at The Manhattan FISH MARKET. There were one guy(was with his GF) walked to me and said he is under "reservation". (FYI, MFM only have priority waiting bookings and they do not hold tables until you are there). He only have two pax so I told him I will be getting seats for the other two couple(walk-in guest @ the queue) before him. He was unhappy! So I went on explaining to him because i have already told the guest that their table would be fast and soon they will get their tables and I cant just give him a table straight when there is one. (How would you feel if you are the walk-in guest right now?- I didnt say this to him) He said he called to reserve seats that gave him the right to get the seat before others, and told me to just tell them they are special guest. I spoke to him very frankly that I do not even have their names and i didnt meant to be mean to hold their tables. ( I was all red because I am pissed with his "I-am-the king" attitude. Nevertheless i spoke in a very nice way still, not losing my cool. I told him to wait as there wouldnt be just one table coming out and I would try to get him the more comfortable seats. His GF said okay, with him left speechless. (or maybe he is pissed too). I am very upset at the fact that I didnt gave him a good impression. I tried to but it seem like there is nothing I can do to please him. I lost this guest to myself though. It was fucking irritating. And I wish I could say right into his face: "You reserved but you are not the only one. I have other characters to look after. You are not not the only one who can afford, either." Well, guess what. Its a 24k night. God damn 24, We are the champions. Well done Team. Hereby salute to all full shift staff. They are the heroes and heoine today, and forever. 

Even though he IS annoying, but i still want to please all the guest. Now, this is the part where people become like hypocrites. I am not happy but I cant show it. But, there is absolutely no other way. If you cant control yourself, thats it. I admit, my temper is god damn hard to control. I hate myself all the time. I think Im a failure always. I need a Psychiatrist man.

Valentine's wasnt so yummy today. I felt better ytd even. Im sorry even though I know its useless and I am guilt stricken. Fuck to all the shits.

lost

Met up with Tine & Jol the day before and I remembered telling them that I almost have no friends. Little did I realised actually Im still fortunate. Even if I really have no friends I still have LH, & of course my family. Afterall Im not that pathetic, right?

Anyway, LH & I just went to Sakae Sushi to have buffet and I feel as if i've just lost a battle. The total that we ate was like only <16>44.40. The spookiest thing is; before we left i was reading Naruto and just nice i stopped on page 43( Which mean i continue on page 44) How nice is that?

13/feb is Siang Long's birthday and we celebrated with him at PS outlet. I was so last min la. Forgot to sms others- earlier on (I guess the results should be the same). Hope he enjoyed himself yea (He won $50 plus ((: plus I owe him a present!)

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY, HANDSOME

HAPPY VALENTINE'S TO friends

& 

LIANHONG!! muacks ;)

Life

Today i caught a movie with lh and its Bridal War. If you are currently feeling upset because your best friends did something bad to you. or there are simply something wrong about your friendships, dont watch it. Cause i bet you would have cried.

Yea, this show made me realises friendships could turn sour; 'snap', just like that. I remembered during my childhood times there was this girl i fought before and we were really nasty to each other. Until when everything came to an end, she said this one thing to me, that when friends are in quarrels, there is nothing we wont say. Even if it meant cursing your whole life or family. Because thats when the real feelings show.

I totally agree on that. Right now, i wonder how many good friends are under the sun for me.

Alright. i should really stop myself on all those negatives. its really getting on my nerves. Why frown when Smile enhances our face's values, and why hate when Love is perpetually in the air, right? Albeit Im not really that jolly.

But i shant drift myself apart, not anymore. I should go get some life. Honestly i have no idea how. Im just so stucked.

Life is just not the same anymore nowadays. Im so affected.

what are friends for?

I extremely bored today.

I was at home this afternoon and i didnt plan anything for myself.
Even though i know im bored like hell i didnt try to find someone out.
(i dont like being fooled around.)
lh is busy with his friends which i think its a good thing.
cause he spend time with me almost everyday and
I doubt he have time for his friend.
partly i admit because i want it to be this way.
(HAHA.)
luckily his friends didnt mind (I guess so)
I so wanna thank him for being so nice to me.
When the world leaves me behind, he is always there. 
I dont know what else I could do,
but saying thank you.

anyway,
i was reminiscing all the while when i was home.
my mind and heart wanders through my memories.
the good times and bad times.
and i realises,
i didnt have alot of friends whom i can trust.
they are mostly shits.
Plastics like lh would address.
i have to admit that there are friends whom i really liked,
but it seems that im such a person (totally sucky)
nobody wanna befriend me.
and i pity myself, alot.
i've tried hard before for people to like me.
somehow i dunno why.

maybe because i really sucked.
not until when i was older and finally grew.
to see the world in black.
i've seen rainbows but they are all fakes.
they are just imaginations.
i've seen storms and experienced rainfalls.
they are utmost real.

I didnt know why my whole life turn out to be in blacks.
until i finally saw the real place for me.
that is staying beside him.
Happiness is nigh, certainly.
He didnt mind my wrongdoings,
my nonsensical behaviours,
or my wilfulness.
he cares unlike others and is always there!

oh anyhow, 
i wasnt home all the while.
i did went out to dinner for me and my
bloody sister okay.
one who knows how to find excuses,
who doesnt know what is "help",
a filthy, selfish being.
but still, she is still my bloody sister.
but why the hell?

i did went and helped my parents.
i went as a dish-washer.
so damn nice.
and i was busy reading lh's blog.
all of his previous entry.
(as if theres alot)
and saw this song "always"
by marc nelson which turn out to be nice.
soothing actually.
like the type backstreet boys to me. 
today was simply a day of
self reflect.

how much do i worth?
and every individual got to have a different price for me.
and i know it all.
it isnt measured by money.
its measured by heart and the actions you've made.
not by talking out loud, saying out nice.
its by sharing through feelings, emotions and time.

and i think i have alot of "zeros"
but what i really know is.
i dont worth much afterall.
yet i am everything to myself.
how mockingly so.

i am nothing to you guys.
and i felt really sad.

true

i love the way how you love me.
it may not be definitely forever,
but at least i know you've been here
with me. now and seemed forever.
the road is everlasting long.
im devastated for more, of yours.
my simple wish--
for us to be happy, together, as long as we can be.

Karma

in life i realise,
still full of doubts.
if i remain on the ground,
i may not get to touch the clouds.
there are rainbows everywhere, but what matter is.
do we dare?

i admit for certain things i am afraid to.
and i dont see hope in.
meeting friends online?
im sure i wouldnt do that.
there are real ppl around that makes me think that,
i could just approach any stranger.
why go online and deceive ourself?

sure, it takes two hands to clap,
so if both party are willing, why should we care?

there are bound to be alot of this and that because everyone's
perspectives are different therefore if you dont like just skip k.
but girls just gotta be careful.
to me its just like common sense.
how, just by one picture the other party likes being your friend..
there are two possibilities i think.
either you are handsome or pretty or you have alot of friends/social circles.
but to me, handsome pretty girls dont have to go online to meet friends,
and anyone trueful enough will get their miracles, eventually.

of course, there are exceptions. 
but how many exceptions are you looking at? 

what comes around goes around = karma.
the cycle is still going on.

Revenge

I am getting bored over the days...
But i am excited over the weekends!!
First will be gathering at sebas's place
than at my place!!
haha!
most of all i get to meetup my two gfs.
WEE~

and also long lost sl.
haha.
but before everything starts,
i have work to do.
damn.
one more day of work before fri night comes.
but well,
no pain no gain.

recently i dont have much issues.
nothing bothers me too much except lh.
cause i am worried for him.
he hadnt been having a good rest and im just afraid when,
mfm works come he still have to be so tired.
now i know how he feels previously, of giving too much.
back then i was still in school.
no wonder he get so uptight.
anyway,
now i see the light..
and has been changing alot.
good or bad doesnt matter as long as people who cares,
know im trying my best.

right?