Im only worth this much.

and that makes me think that im pretty worthless dude.

Things hadnt been very nice on me. I cried my heart out just last night.It was like a ton of rubbish just pouring over me, it made me felt so sick, unfair and I have no idea what to do.

First, during one of those days i told this manager that the colour of the cloths used are wrong. (We actually have a system of certain coloured cloths for wiping different things in our restaurant.)

While in fact he twisted everything up(not everything but almost). So i told him during meeting they(Senior Managers) had already stated their points.

I guess he doesnt understand English or whatsoever. If not, why would he have not understood? We made it so clear! 

So i tell myself not to freaking care so much since he is the one in-charge, and he'd already stated his point. But deep down my heart i know it isnt right and i just dont feel good.

well, fuck care right?

Secondly, during ops hours on one of the days. I reached around 5 plus 6 and there were no managers around. At first i didnt mind much until i feel that almost evryday the same thing would happen. And i finally know why myself. I guess they went smoking, and discussing about work. (Which is hopefully something came out)

Thirdly, I rmbered that i wasnt supposed to be included in ops but three days straight(outta four days) i was there looking after the ops. and i even have to do closing for them. (Though ytd she ask me for help so as to settle staff issues, but still.)This is really freaking me out. 

I didnt really wanna bad-mouthed against them. I just think that there is so much needed to be done and no one is doing. And as much as i wanted to, i cant and i dont see a reason why. Life is just this strange.

All these added up really made me feel upset. Somemore i had a small conflict with that manager ytd. After that still got reprimanded for something so natural. I admit this is my mistake but yet a supervisor for a year doesnt know about it really made me feel ashamed.

I could have really killed myself because of shame ytd, if LianHong wasnt around. Baby, I love you. Thanks for being there, and your shoulder to lie on without minding my tears and mucas on you.

This is officially the worst day of my life. i hate you, 200109